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My wedding poem …

This is a poem I had written before my marriage.. Its supposedly a conversation between I and Ameya…….Just penning it down here to keep as remembrance 🙂

“I dream of a wedding of elaborate elegance
Diamond on my finger, sparkling ebullience
Five star hotel, and a suite as Marriage Hall
The stage so fancy, it would dumbstruck all….”

“My dress so beautiful, my make up so great
Wedding invite emblazoned on a silver plate
Pool side dinner, an experience opulent
Air conditioned air, and an affair luxuriant….”

I stopped to ask him, his plans for the day
With smile in his eyes, he just kept looking my way
His silence sinking in, I stood astonished
“No plans”, he shrugged, “Only aim to be married”

“Plan to just soak in the shyness in your eyes
To hold your hand and to renew our ties
To thank the guests, to pray for togetherness
To promise your parents, you would live as princess…”

“Will smell the mehendi in your palm, will take care of you my noor
Will try not to disturb your make up, when I am putting the sindoor
“But…….But wedding comes only once in a life…..!!”
“I know dear…..and I want the one where you will become my wife.. 🙂 ”

– Reshma Umbarje (~Reshma Umbarje Mahadeshwar – post the day this poem took real shape)

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:) – sorry

Yeah… more often, this blog is becoming an outlet to vent out on dead/ gone.. Attempts to review it will soon be started… 🙂

Brother – Bhai

Every relation in life has a special meaning. Especially when one doesn’t naturally get someone in life, the relationship with that person is even more special. For example, a boy who needs a girlfriend, a mother who needs a son – would both have special relationships when formed.

For me, that special relationship is with a brother. Gifted with one of the most beautiful God’s creation, my younger brother takes care of me as if i am his daughter 🙂 Over the years, a brother sister definition took many forms right from ensuring that a blood relation is not necessary for it to form. I have always been proud of my brothers and they have always been my role model……

Maybe, I was too proud to hold my gems. Maybe, its true what they say about nazar. Hopefully, its also true what they say about re-birth.

jo chale gaye hai..

jinhe zinda dekhne ki aadaat si ho gayi thi
aaj unki yaadon mei rehte hai

timepass

mail mei mitti ki khushboo na aaye
orkut ke scraps mei haal chaal poocha jaye

facebook hi ab like, comment aur poke kare
gtalk aur skype ko na koi rok sake..

twitter bataye logon ke haal
linked-in bunaye networks ke jaal..

aisi zindagi mei hum kahi kho naa jaye
chalo, aaj kagaz, kalam aur dawat ho jaye..

Meaning – kahani mere fasane ki

In nazmo ke ibtidaa ki kya kahani bayan kare
– Where did these words start.. what do I say
ye kisi aaftaab ke saath nahi uthe
– they have not risen with the sun
ye to un aansuon ki mehak se kagaz par utre hai
– they have been penned down under those tears
jisse hum aanchal samajh kar odhe baithe hai
– who i have embraced

abad ki baat hai,hum tabse apne jahan mei rehte hai
– its the story of eternity, i have been living in my world
uss jahan mei.. jahan sab itmaam hai
– my world, that world where everything is perfect
har armaan ko yo peroye rakhte hai khayalon mei
– each and every desire of mine has been threaded in my thoughts
ki din mei azhaan ka koi nishaan nahi hai
– and in no days is there even a hint of sorrow in them

khoye hue hai khud par paane ki chahat dekhiye
– see i am myself lost. but look at my will to succeed
hamare armaano ka jahan hai.. ya jannat sochiye
– is this a world of my dreams, or a heaven you only decide
koshish nahi karte to rooh rukshat ho jaati hai
– if i dont even try to achieve my dreams, my soul gets angry with me (and leaves me)
kishton kishton mei khud khushi ka mazaa humse poochiye
– so many times my soul has been left me that i am dying slowly

Meanings:
aaftaab: sun

abad: eternity

azhaan: sorrow

ibtidaa: commencement/beginning

itmaam: perfection

Kahani mere fasane ki

In nazmo ke ibtidaa ki kya kahani bayan kare
ye kisi aaftaab ke saath nahi uthe
ye to un aansuon ki mehak se kagaz par utre hai
jisse hum aanchal samajh kar odhe baithe hai

abad ki baat hai,hum tabse apne jahan mei rehte hai
uss jahan mei.. jahan sab itmaam hai
har armaan ko yo peroye rakhte hai khayalon mei
ki din mei azhaan ka koi nishaan nahi hai

khoye hue hai khud par paane ki chahat dekhiye
hamare armaano ka jahan hai.. ya jannat sochiye
koshish nahi karte to rooh rukshat ho jaati hai
kishton kishton mei khud khushi ka mazaa humse poochiye

Meanings:

aaftaab: sun

abad: eternity

azhaan: sorrow

ibtidaa: commencement/beginning

itmaam: perfection

Description- Gloom

Standing near the window, I could feel the sense of abjectness, building up inside me. I was still shivering – half with cold and half with fear. The stretched nerves had become a part of my biological system. The hairs on my hand, stood on end. Why couldn’t I just be like a girl and wax them off? That way, at least they won’t give away my fear.

I looked up. The negro colored clouds were closing in and the falling drops made my welled up tears feel welcomed. Rains in Kerala were beautiful. And maybe they had been the reason, I was finally brought to a psychiatrist. I held on to the wet window bars and felt like I was in a jail. And was it not a Black hole? To be trapped inside yourself to this extent? Where all happiness, laughter, bliss was sucked into some black mass leaving me alone with tears. I looked at the water droplet forming on the bar – with rain around, it became huge and fell – not able to sustain the weight of the growing mass inside it. I let go of the tear globule forming inside me. I did not realise when he came and stood behind me. It was his hand on my shoulder that startled me. I turned around. Even he was crying. “Never give up. Remember, Be a phoenix”, he said.

some shayaris

manzil mile na mile sahi

koshishon mei hi rooh lut jaaye

dekhna ho mera junoon agar

aasmaan se kehdo aur uncha uth jaye

—————————————————————————-

khoye hue hai khud par paane ki chahat dekhiye

hamare armaano ka jahan hai ya jannat sochiye

koshish nahi karte to rooh rukhsat ho jaati hai

kishton kishton mei khud khushi ka mazaa humse poochiye

—————————————————————————-

koi tumse pooche agar kaun hun mai..

to kehna, “koi khaas nahi

ek dost hai kaccha pakka sa

ek jhoot hai aadha saccha sa

jajbaaton pe jo parda daal de

ek bahana hai aisa accha sa

isme aur to koi baat nahi

bas ek dost hai..koi khaas nahi”

—————————————————————————-

rula jaati hai duniya.. par hum haste hai

chalke nahi wo boond, iss koshish mei rehte hai

aankhon mei ashq to abhi bhi thehre hai

par baarish ki boondein jab chand par se behte hai

raat ke aagosh mei, hum tanhayi ko sehte hai

i hear a laugh..and what follows is a smile
but a glance is enough to tell me its all a lie..

the smile will die down..and the dead eyes will show
and for the hundreth time.. i promise i will make them glow..

but why dont you tell me..what is it that you are going through
no matter how much you fake .. i knw what is false..and what is true…

why do you seal yourself? why hide your fears?
those eyes come and tell me.. you shed silent tears…